An Emotional Poet 

I write poems sometimes, when the feelings I carry are bigger than the space it needs inside me. 

DISINTEGRATED

I have no poetry in me 
My eyes are dry 
My face is stone 
Stretched by a tick I can’t control 
No glitter in my stare 
But I am only 35 
This fucker and that 
Panic attacks is all I got 
And on the scale of emotion
It’s all below 30% alive 
Why do we humans lie? 
My chest is burning 
And I wonder what’s inside 
That heart escaped the scene 
The last time I was wiped 
Each little fibre in me is tired 
I wish I could explode
Disintegrated
Into atoms 
United with magical stardust

TIME

 

Open your eyes 
Dark changes into light 
The day goes by 
It fades into another day 
There goes a week 
More weeks flip 
Here goes a month 
Another month jumps 
It's gone, you didn't even notice 
And it's been a year now
Autumn, winter, spring, now it's hot again 
Time! 
It flows at the speed of life 
Life comes and goes 
Don't you forget to blink 
It's 3am and you are 83 
What have you done? 
How many times did you fall in love? 
And did you smile often enough? 
Done what you wanted? 
Please do not miss out 
Seize every moment 
Live a little 
Look around 
Your life is here and it's gone 
Pause, breathe 
Take what your heart desires 
The time is slipping 
The light turns into dark
That is one day 
Today is almost done

WHAT, WHERE, WHO

 

What is driving people? 
Money. 
What is important? 
Time.
Where is beauty? 
Nature. 
What is precious? 
Health.
What do people fear? 
Death. 
What is everywhere? 
Love. 
What do we have? 
Body.
What can't you keep? 
Age.
What makes you happy? 
You. 
What makes you cry? 
Feelings.
What is the meaning of life?
Nothing.
What can you hear? 
Music.
Where the home is?
Heart.
What's in your brain?
World.
What is pain?
Loss.
Who are you? 
Decide...

TRICKED

 

I'm agonising. 
My body lost control. 
The chest is bursting. 
I feel the pain in my soul.

 

My heart is aching. 
It has exploded into millions of bits.
I feel the fire in my throat. 
I cannot breathe.

 

My mind is frantic. 
I want the thoughts of him to disappear. 
A calming voice says, "Give it time"
Another screams "how could I be so blind?!"

 

It seems a boulder weighs me down. 
I grasp for breath, but I am drowned. 
Give me knives, cut those ropes!
Let the fucking drumming stop!

 

My temples pulse. 
Those veins burn with lies.
He got under my skin, 
I did not want to let him in, 
But he is toxic,
I've been tricked.

 

He lured, he fooled, he disappeared. 
He poisoned me again. 
Where did I go wrong? 
Why didn't I prevent it...

 

That fucking pain! 
It burns, it suffocates, it kills.

 

Wait, here comes the wind. 
Do blow at me and through, 
And make me new. 
Pick up the bits and pieces, 
And carry it away from me. 
I beg, let me be free.

THE GHOST OF THE PAST

Now suddenly my past is back,
I am haunted.
No wait, I am not.
It's not a demon, nor an angel,
Just a friendly ghost
Of what it was.

Yes, there was love, 
Nothing ever starts without that.
Then the routine took its turn,
There was resentment too,
We fought and lost,
That game never works.

But why say when it ends,
It ends in hate and ruins?
The end is always bitter,
It is cruel.

But time heals,
The hurt and pain fades,
The soul gets carved,
And everything that was 
Turns into diamonds.

Years go by,
You never know what is ahead,
And suddenly that ghost 
Is here to stay.
No, there are no regrets.

You trim and shed the hurts,
Just love gets through,
That's how it works. 
The meaning of life,
It's aim and purpose,
Is happiness in you,
There is no other way.

My friendly ghost,
I welcome you into my life.
Cheer up, don't be afraid,
Forget the bad,
Let us embrace.
We are today
Made of all that was.
Hence only words left
I thank you, it was worth it.

 © 2019 by Kat aka Sunflower. 

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